First off, I would like to start with an earnest apology to my six loyal readers who have been so fervently craving a steady dose of Wilos’ Blog over the past month and a half. Not surprisingly, I have been a huge bum who has lacked the motivation to “find my voice” and engage in the art of fine composition. In other words, I have been too fucking lazy to “get up off the couch,” “take the Steak and Egg out of my mouth,” “walk up the stairs” to “find my computer” and open a Microsoft Word document. After all, the sole purpose of my computer’s existence of late has been for looking up crunchy concert dates online, watching bukkake with newly-initiated DC Unemployment Line Member CdM, and chopping it. Not to bukkake, that is.
Anyways, now that I have scared off any of the female readership (if the bukkake comment didn’t do it, I would assume that the reference to doing “guy stuff” did…), I can really speak from the heart about all the cool stuff I have been doing the past six weeks, all the hot babes I have been bringing back to my Aero bed, and how cool I am in general. In other words, how utterly pathetic I have been, the bare bones of my intimacy, and how much of a waste of space I am in general. Before I provide whatever amount of details that my slothful mind can produce at this hour, I will give you a quick stat line on the glorious month that has been Rocktober: I have visited my alma mater (college, that is) on three separate occasions for a total of six nights, my alma mater (high school, that is) on three separate occasions, one of which was the opening football game, to which I had to trick my Egyptian friend into going because my high school friends wouldn’t go, and another was the school’s centennial party, where I faceplanted on the d-floor in front of the Headmaster - this after sticking my hands in multiple cakes (desert cakes, those are, not “bu”-kkakes) and bird feeding myself, been fishing twice, hunting once, been to New York a couple of times, saw Widespread/Allman Brothers, P Groove, Yonder Mountain, and then Railroad Earth/Yonder Mountain – all in the span of one week, been to Nantucket, tried Molly (just kidding!), gained about 15 pounds, and a whole bunch of other cool shit that I can’t think of right now. Now I am getting ready to go to a Springsteen concert with my Mom tomorrow night and email some college buddies to see what the undergrads are up to for Fall Break. Man, it’s been a great summer so far. 
Looking back on that, I will allow myself to pat myself on the back. Hell of a season, pal, and it’s not even the All-Star Break yet. Thanks, Wilos. How kind of you. I guess I’m too tired (guess the 14 hours of sleep per night isn’t enough) to go into detail about my totally awesome life at the moment, and I am also looking forward to crushing a dozen or so more episodes of Sleeper Cell (great Shotime show about counter-terrorism – a more intellectual 24 if you will) and Community (funny new show on NBC with Chevy Chase – a great line, after Chevy has failed to come up with a “school song” for their community college: “I’m sorry, Jill, I lied. I’m no more of a song-writer than you, or… Billy Joel. I just can’t do it.”) before takin a nice, long Tiger Snooze. However, in light of the grim prospects for respectable uss in the near future due to my horrendous game, I will leave you all with a quote from our high school’s unofficial class mentor, on the subject of taking down rather large women: “Hogging is fine, from time to time, but after a while, it’s no longer hogging. It’s what you do.”
But hey, man, now that I’m pushing 220, I guess if I ever hook up with a girl it’ll be hogging for her… Ha!
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